Sunday, January 6, 2013

A JOURNAL ENTRY

And a few pictures that have nothing to do with this post. Except for maybe my face in the last one. It does sort of sum it all up.


I'm not sure why I'm having such anxiety going back to school? It's not only frustrating, but totally disheartening. I know this wave of anxious emotion is gripping me so unnecessarily. I mean, I love my school. I am blessed by it even. And I have so many wonderful things ahead of me there in this new semester. So why am I ready to forget about it all and hide? Maybe say, finish my degree online... from this computer... in my room. Gosh I'm sounding more lame every minute.

But here's the thing {a thing that literally just struck me as I'm sitting here writing down my woes}, I don't think it's really school that I'm dreading. It's probably just reality. It is just reality. When I'm home, I'm safe from the world and I can escape any problems or situations that await me- out there. Even the sound if it's un-tasteful. Who wants to be out there when you could be in here!?! Secure, loved, protected, nurtured and all of the above.

So there I have it. I am a scared little caterpillar afraid to come out of her cozy cocoon.

But that's not really who I am.

I am brave and independent. I've never been scared of change or afraid to reach a goal. And I have such a bright future ahead I can't stop now, right?! But even if it's hard or challenging for me to get out of my comfort zone and get out there and move mountains, I can't not. Because I don't ever want to look back and ask, "what if?" And I don't ever want to give myself an excuse to run away. Even more than that, I know the truth. I know I am loved by the King who made me! My identity is secure in Christ alone. My hope is in him. I have nothing to fear, and I have no reason to be anxious. He has already gone before me, and is preparing the way for me. He is victorious! Which means I cannot fail if I'm surrendering and trusting in His gracious love.

I knew the right answer all along I guess. I just needed to find it for myself :)

8 comments:

  1. I love your sweater!! You look so pretty. xx. McKenna Lou

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  2. Randomly noticed - your eye lashes are beautiful! They match your spirit I see as well. Prayers as you start school back up!

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    1. Thank you! And your prayers are definately appreciated :)

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  3. You are truly beautiful! These photos are adorable. We're going back to school in a few days too. I'm nervous also! I had nearly 4 weeks off, so it feels surreal to be thinking about homework and papers and exams. Hope that you get more excited as the beginning of the semester nears :)
    thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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    1. Ahhh yes. Thank you! It's been better actually arriving and realizing the things you missed :) Good luck on your new semester as well, I hope it puts your nerves away!

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  4. love your honesty. and i am encouraged that your identity is in Christ. His grace is sufficient...have a great semester!! :)

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